Dude, Just Ask!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the power of questions.  I feel like there are so many things we leave on the table when we don’t go out of our way to ask thoughtful, genuine questions.  For example, “Are you gonna eat that last cupcake?”  Cupcakes are too valuable to be left on tables.

A while back, I asked one of my friends the simple question, “Have you ever thought about going into politics?”  I had no clue if he was even remotely interested in the idea of going into public service, but it seemed like a good question based on his personality and leadership ability.

His answer was astounding.

For the next 30 minutes, he outlined his big-picture vision to transform the culture of American politics.  Holy smokes. The dude is 21 years old.  All I did was ask a simple question, but I got a profound answer.  He’s got my vote.

Questions reveal others’ stories. 

Everyone wants to feel valued and to be known.  You can’t really get there without asking someone questions. Wouldn’t that be convenient?

Hey!  Let me tell you about all my deepest hopes and dreams and fears while we’re casually sippin’ on these skinny non-fat extra whip and nae nae lattes. I figured you were gonna ask anways so I’ll just go ahead and throw it all out there for you! 

Ha! Good one. Learning someone’s story doesn’t happen like that. It takes intentionality. Which takes asking questions—the kinds that probe beneath surface into the inner recesses of our hearts.

Questions take the focus off of ourselves.

A few months back, I had the opportunity to serve alongside some of my UGA friends in many impoverished neighborhoods in New York City.  Places like the south Bronx that an average NYC tourist would have no business visiting on their vacation.  It was remarkable how many conversations we were a part of that started with asking a simple question or two.  It opened our eyes up to reality of the brokenness that exists in our world.

I don’t know about you, but I all too often get wrapped up in my own little problems.  I forget how much need exists—even among my friends and people right next to me. People right in the middle of my sphere of influence.  Asking thoughtful, engaging questions helps bring this reality to life.  A reminder that it’s not about us.

Questions unlock opportunities. 

As I look back on my life, I’ve noticed a trend.  The best opportunities I’ve had, to quote T Swift, have never ever ever ever fallen into my lap on accident.  I had to ask for them.

When I was exploring where I wanted to intern last summer, I went to a close mentor and asked him if there would be an opportunity at certain company I was interested in.

When I started the Terry Student Podcast, it didn’t just happen on its own (self-creating podcasts would be clutch). I didn’t get picked for it.  No one from Terry emailed me asking me to do it.  That would also be convenient.

Hey Caleb you’re really cool and stuff and we really want you to do this podcast because you would just be so great for it! 

Ha!  Good one, again.  I wish I got flattering emails like that. The emails in my inbox are mostly reminders to pay rent—or else! The point is that I had to pick myself.  I had to work up the gumption to go to the Terry staff and pitch them my idea.

Even simple things like pulling together a group to hang out or reconnecting with someone over coffee.  You gotta ask or it probably won’t happen.

I think you get the idea.  Ask good questions. Lots of them. Go!